Workshop Titled "Education Starts in the Family"

Our workshop titled "Education Starts in the Family" was held at UNIW Headquarters with the participation of specialized representatives from various NGOs and universities. The highly qualified workshop began at 10:00 AM and continued throughout the day until 6:00 PM. The workshop concluded with the establishment of specialized sub-teams tasked with detailed reporting of sub-themes.

Below are some of the key views and insights expressed during the workshop. A full comprehensive report will be presented subsequently.

During the morning session, experts deliberated on the theme of REDEFINING THE FAMILY AND THE IMPORTANCE OF EDUCATION. We share key insights expressed in this framework:

Wrong habits constitute a major handicap for society. In a prophetic Hadith, it is warned: "When it is said: Leave this innovation (bid'ah), they will cry out: Alas, they want us to abandon the Sunnah!"
"Def'i mefasid celb-i menafiden evladir; Eradicating harm and corruption takes precedence over securing benefits."
The issue of education must be evaluated within the unity of the family. We must analyze attitudes toward marriage. Preparing physical space and material means alone is insufficient; structured education must be provided. Premarital and marital education, including marital relations guidance, must be offered to couples, as severe deficiencies and errors exist.
Parental attitudes are paramount in a child's education. Education through love rather than fear is essential. To guide an individual toward happiness in this world and the Hereafter, moral and religious principles must be observed.
Since television series are widely watched, family-oriented TV series should be produced.
The academic community produces research, but practical application is equally vital; concise, simple publications accessible to the general public must be created. The law of brotherhood requires sincerely pointing out deficiencies and guiding toward truth.
Parents should exert greater effort in encouraging their children to marry. Remarrying those divorced at a young age is also of critical importance. A family consisting solely of a mother, father, and child is an isolated family today—isolated not only from relatives but also from neighbors. Raising children in an isolated nuclear family poses severe challenges. The social circle must expand in concentric rings. Within these rings, there must be wise elders who can serve as role models for children. A child's contact with elderly relatives is immensely valuable. This is our key point of divergence from the West; the roles of grandfathers, grandmothers, aunts, and uncles must be emphasized across platforms.
Homosexual marriages are spreading globally. Youth now view marriage differently. Our daughters and sons will not be like us if we remain in a fantasy world. Parents are lagging behind reality. Scholars and academicians must produce research on these challenges. We are not interpreting the Quran in light of our contemporary age. While the identity of Khadijah (ra) is taught, the fatherhood models of Prophet Muhammad (pbuh) and Ali (ra) are often omitted. The Quran is a living book that revives any life it touches, yet we fail to utilize it fully. We can produce documentaries demonstrating the catastrophic life outcomes of gender transition surgeries. Regulations supporting working women in Turkey have surpassed those in Europe.
The concept of "Qawwam" (protector/maintainer) must be brought back to the agenda. Men must assume leadership and responsibility. According to our faith, educational responsibility rests primarily on the husband/father. When left entirely to women, severe stress and operational breakdown occur as women's burdens double. I have analyzed women's status according to the 4 sacred books.
Globalization has profound effects on the family and individual. Self-perceptions vary sharply across generations. Today we face a narcissistic, socially shy new generation. Dialogue rarely exceeds 3–5 minutes. Technology organizes the family around isolated individuals. We are discussing an unnamed crisis; we risk losing the family entirely in the near future because parents are viewed as burdens. Fathers returning home mentally exhausted create an emotional vacuum. Parents with weakened authority fail to produce meaning at home, concentrating solely on their children's academic scores. The concept of Qawwam is crucial, yet the concept of family headship is met with irony in certain circles.
Before discussing the child, we must discuss parental education. Today we have child-centric families where the child dominates the family structure. We must return to a parent-centered family model. Experts constantly blaming parents creates confusion. Focusing on intellect alone gives children pleasure while emotions remain secondary; playing video games releases adrenaline and creates temporary joy. I am authoring a book on intellectual pleasure. We face individuals reduced solely to intellectual metrics.
If we can lead by example, we will provide the best education for our children and initiate the focal point of transformation. Women are eager to learn, but men often lack equipment and fail to serve as role models. Therefore, we must prioritize male education. Our young women are well-educated, yet we struggle to find worthy male candidates. In our training programs, 800 female students attended compared to 250 male students. Entrusting home leadership to men relieves women. I have met highly social women who state: "I want to be the lady of my home."
Concepts are formed within specific cultures; removing them renders them meaningless. There is natural education within formal, informal, and extended family structures. We acknowledge the changing world. Modern architecture neglects elderly relatives—homes shifted from 3+1 to 1+1. Marriage age has reached thirty. Youth marriage must be incentivized. The government is supporting marriages up to age 27. Imam-Hatip schools are expanding; we must build targeted projects for them. As traditional grandmothers dwindle, qualified marriage projects must be developed. We currently import every concept from the West.
I prefer contributing written notes in finalized form. For now, I will emphasize two key points:
The fragmentation, downsizing, and rigid role segregation of the family, alongside member biological, psychological, and social needs being increasingly met by external institutions, has weakened the family's unique function as a holistic crucible.
The construction of a balanced, solid personality can only occur in a solid family crucible. We must display wise stances against attacks targeting this crucible and reinforce family bonds according to contemporary conditions. Personality education continues lifelong for all family members, not just children. We assume new roles and statuses at intervals in the family cycle, requiring lifelong family education.
96.7% of marriages in Turkey occur with legal/religious marriage contracts—an invaluable statistic. The family remains Turkey's strongest institution, yet Western convergence threatens it. Family is an institution shaped by religion; Quranic verses on marriage contracts are highly detailed, showing its universal importance.
The fundamental problem is that modern culture has shattered traditional structure and hierarchy. We used to define relationships with value-laden concepts. Modernity treats child, woman, and man as isolated fragments. We try to integrate them using Western concepts produced against religion—democracy, human rights, equality, etc., developed against the Church. We must migrate back to our own concepts. Otherwise, we will suffer Western outcomes. People avoid saying "adultery" (zina), using "extramarital union". Mentioning "obedience" is misconstrued as slavery. Modern workload has exhausted both mothers and fathers, turning homes into mere lodgings. We must purge our minds of modern conceptual junk.

In the afternoon session, the theme of THE INITIATION, CONTINUATION, AND DYNAMICS OF EDUCATION IN THE FAMILY was examined in detail. Insights expressed include:

We must recognize the sanctity of marriage contracts, start education before marriage, and understand that child education begins at the embryological stage.
Parental attitudes and child-rearing styles shape an individual's entire life. We must protect our children continuously without dictating their choices. Neither my spouse nor I remain the same as when we first married; we evolve.
We face a mindset detached from divine revelation. The collapse of the Ottoman Empire and internal attempts to transform us by adopting Western civilization caused major historical trauma. The third trauma occurred on July 15. We must rehabilitate this trauma. An educational approach excluding revelation and relying solely on reason and the five senses is flawed.
We must examine the fruitfulness of seeds planted upon revelation. Training thousands without producing key leaders indicates an underlying flaw. We must conduct more sincere, result-oriented work. Media is critical. A single film or TV series leaves a far deeper impression than years of abstract lectures.
Couples intending to marry must undergo mandatory premarital training, as in Malaysia. NGO efforts alone cannot meet this national need. Educating pregnant women should be a state policy. We must strengthen concentric social circles. We must lobby for these topics to enter school curricula and establish workplace and school daycare systems.
A child should be raised through joint parental education. Education involves a horizontal, not vertical, relationship—as does Qawwamship. Responsibility should be shared according to capabilities. Compassion is not exclusive to women; men are also compassionate, and brave women exist, as witnessed on July 15. UNIW IFI must work to integrate family education into formal curricula. We must verify news thoroughly before spreading social media rumors.
A mother is a school; when you educate her well, you cultivate a pure society. A mother is the first teacher of great scholars.
Women possess unique maternal hormones. Individuals deprived of love become narcissistic, defying society. A graffiti reads: "Had someone loved me, would I have become a delinquent?"
Alongside understanding Allah, understanding human nature must be taught as a subject. Without self-understanding within revelation, one cannot comprehend divine commands. Who am I? How did Allah define me? This is the first button of the shirt.
Natural intra-family education must be projectized—organic Anatolian education. Thinking like a Muslim while living like a Westerner fails to produce true certainty (Haqq al-Yaqin). We must practice what we preach.
Throughout human history, alongside functions like reproduction, economic provision, status, leisure, mutual love, and affection, the family's paramount function is planning children's moral and religious education.
These family functions directly and indirectly shape child socialization. The family crucible, where language and social values are acquired, is an unmatched social institution.
Although formal instruction has shifted to institutions, "family upbringing" (aile terbiyesi) remains an irreplaceable heritage that gains heightened importance in postmodern life.
We must update concepts produced by Islamic civilization. Instead of terms like "egitim" (training/bending), we should utilize our deep concepts like "talim-terbiye, tahsil, tedrisat".